10 ways to make yourself more likeable
We can spend a lot of time thinking about value propositions, pricing, ROI's and alike, but we often overlook some simple things, such as do they like me! Like-ability is key in the power of influence and impact.
Here are 10 ways that you can make yourself more likeable.
1: Dress to Impress
It may be grossly unfair, but one of the core components of likeability is physical attractiveness. Now this doesn’t mean that you need to be in the gym 8 hours a day, but do the basics well - brush your hair, iron your clothes and take care of your hygiene. Shoes are also important – clean and polish them. You know the saying – dress to impress.
2: Smile and the world smiles with you
One of the first things we learn as an infant is how friendly a smile is. People will warm to you if you are friendly and smile. The opposite is also true, a miserable face turns people off or turns people away. A key thing to recognise and understand is your neutral face – this is what is your face looks like when you are just expressionless, e.g. when you are just sat typing an email or looking at your phone. Have a look in the mirror and relax your face, some people have a natural happy look whilst others have a natural sad look. If it is naturally sad, you will need to make more effort to show people your happy.
3: Similarities
People like people like themselves, or they like people whom they would like to be like. If you have things in common then you can be more likeable. Things in common can include items such as background, schooling, area you grew up, hobbies, kids, sports teams etc. Looking for these connections is one of the first things people do when they meet ‘hi, where are you from, what brings you here’ – all designed to see if we are alike.
4: It’s not all about you – show interest in others
Taking an interest in the others sends a different signal to the recipient and makes you more likeable. But you need to be there, in the moment. It is not about asking questions and waiting to talk, you need to listen and show a genuine interest. We call this active listening. Listen for what they are telling you and try to understand why the story is the story. Adding more curiosity to your questions and listening will make you more likeable.
5: Emotional not vulnerable
Some of the words often associated with sales and leaders are; strong, resilient, optimistic, positive etc. Having these great traits can also mean people see you as thicker skined. When it comes to likeable people warm to those who are also emotionally attractive, i.e. they display emotion. Consider more a little more open with your emotions, not excessively, just let them see your human.
6: Lighten Up
People sometimes fall into a trap where they feel their role is to spot the flaw or holes in the project / plan / proposal. Where this may be true, and your role is to minimise risk and drive performance, people don’t need you to be doom and gloom – all the time. Yes, it is a serious matter, but don’t take yourself too seriously – it’s hard to like someone who behaves like this.
7: People like people who make them feel good.
When someone is upbeat, positive, optimistic – glass half full, they are immensely more likeable. That ‘can do’ attitude is infectious, and people like to be associated with people who make them feel good. It’s not about being naive, but more positive and enthusiastic rather than pouring cold water on to people’s ideas, dreams or projects.
8: Courtesy and charm
Manners maketh man. Old fashion courtesy and politeness makes people feel important and goes a long way to likeability. Turning on the charm (not cheese) will work wonders in making you more likeable.
9: Use of voice
They way we use our voice can put people on or off. If you talk fast and loud and I talk quiet and slow, we have a mismatch, and I’ll find you difficult to connect with. Consider your pace, pitch, tone and volume. The best way is to listen to the customer first and match their voice pattern.
10: Mirror words and gestures
When people have rapport they often find themselves synchronising their words and body language for example; both may have their legs crossed, or both are leaning forward, both are talking excitedly or quickly and so on. As we said previously, people like people like themselves, so get connected by positioning and sitting in a similar stance, and use jargon and words that they use. Don’t mimic, just connect.
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